Something From Nothing

I know I have not written in a very long time. But I recently find myself in a totally new season of my life where I have time for things I haven't done since I started the college journey. I'm reading for recreation again and I'm on my third book of my choice that has nothing to do with school. Its a relief in some ways, but still brings me ever nearer to the realization that I am so close to graduation. This is exciting, terrifying, unnerving... A smattering of emotions similar to those I experienced when I first moved out on my own into a strangers house with no friends in my new community. Of course I have grown and am better prepared for the transition, but it is still new and unknown. Basic necessities will not longer be simply provided for. I will not receive a check from the school every three months to pay for clothes and shelter. I will (finally?) be truly on my own.
I have several ideas for the next move in my life and career path. Still, the most daunting reality to face is that I have nothing. I don't own my car, I don't know where I'll live, I don't know if I'll have a job. I don't necessarily consider this to be a bad thing. I consider living simply to be of ultimate importance and I enjoy the adventure of the unknown in theory. In fact, I hope to live my entire life with the kind of spirit of adventure that will allow me to not know what is around the next corner. After college I hope to be a gypsy for a while. I don't just want to just get into the next apartment but would rather camp out in a trailer for a while, able to move around to see all my scattered friends and pursue dance as my passion in life. I want the option of drifting. I want to work in a coffee shop and see interesting people every day. I want to read and write and play my guitar again. I want to get out of America and see a different perspective on the world. I want to live in the jungle with cold running water and a mosquito net.
This is where my thinking and dreams take me; I want to be truly free before it is necessary for me to settle down with a family and think about people's interest not my own. However, the difficulty comes in societal expectations. The expectation is for me to get a high paying job, get an apartment, be successful, have money for fun and drinks and trendy clothes. The prospect frightens me more than not knowing where I will sleep next year.
The expectation I see projected and met is to become stagnant and boring. Most of all my friends, including me, have been settled down for their entire lives. And more than likely they will continue to be settled down until the day they pass on. This is the American Dream...
But I want something different. I want to do good and make a difference, even if it means sacrificing stability and prosperity. I want to inspire and create, because I have the time and mental clarity to do so. I simply pray that I will have the means and strength to do these things for real, that I will not be stunted by fear of the unknown, but that I will throw myself into it, knowing that if I am in His will, Jesus will catch me where He needs me to land.